Kowalski and the Little Bandit
by TheBaconRaccoon
Summary: There's something in the back of Ray's car... and it likes potato chips.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first story so be gentle on me please. :) TYK to GooglyEyesTalk for the prompt of raccoons and DiefGirl and Rubberducky100 for your uploading help.

No, I don't own due South. You don't think someone named "TheBaconRaccoon" actually owns dS do you? LOL!

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><p>"She works hard for the money… so hard for it, honey…"<p>

Donna Summer's voice filled Ray Kowalski's car the minute he turned on the engine. It was Monday morning and the radio being on was odd because he wasn't listening to the radio last night? It startled him and he turned it off immediately. He settled himself back into his seat and sighed. "It's too early in the mornin' for this." He said quietly to himself.

That's when his cell phone rang.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Vecchio." He answered.

"Ray, it's me." Fraser voice answered.

"I'll be there in a minute, ok?" He looked down at the time on his watch and groaned.

"I know that, Ray, I was actually wondering if you were missing a bag of chips?"

"Chips?"

"Yes, I noticed you had a bag of potato twisters in the back of your car yesterday." Fraser said.

"Oh, that's right. Why ya askin' that?"

"Well," Fraser was pacing around the consulate while he spoke with Ray. "Dief brought a bag of the same chips home with him yesterday. I assumed they were yours?" Dief was standing next to Fraser while he spoke and whined when he heard the Mountie say his name.

Ray grinned. "Why can't you tell me this when we get back to the station, buddy?"

"Well, I was reading the nutrition facts on the side of the bag. Are you aware of how unhealthy these are?"

Ray grinned again. "Well, those are definitely mine then. I'll check the back." He leaned his seat back a little and turned his body to look around.

He dropped the phone to the seat and yelped.

"F-Fraser?" Ray yelled.

"Ray, are you alright? Ray?"

Ray was staring into the eyes of a raccoon that was sitting on his back seat. It growled at him and he jolted back.

"Ray?" Fraser shouted into the phone yet again. Now he was really worried and had stopped pacing.

"Fraser?" Ray forgot about his phone for a moment. He wanted to look around for it but he was paralyzed with fear. He could still hear Fraser enough though.

"Ray, what happened?"

"You're not gonna believe me." He swallowed hard.

"Ray, what is it?"

"There's a raccoon in my car."

"A raccoon, Ray?"

"Yeah, a raccoon."

The raccoon growled at him again.

Ray flinged. "Fraser, what do I do?"

"Ray, stay calm. Don't move. I'll come to you. You're at your apartment correct?"

"Yeah."

"I'll be there in 5 minutes. Stay calm and don't move."

Ray gulped. "Hurry up, ok?"

"I will."

Ray slowly looked over to the passenger seat and saw his phone. Then he heard the raccoon rustling around and looked back to it. The raccoon slowly crawled to the front and sat down on the passenger seat next to Ray's phone. Ray pushed himself against the door and as far away from the raccoon as possible.

That's when the raccoon started chewing on Ray's phone.

"Hey! Gimme that back!" He reached over in a split second and swiped his phone back. "Do ya know how much these things cost?" The raccoon whined, looked out the window, and looked back and straight into Ray's eyes.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to yell at ya."

The raccoon looked at him as if he understood.

Then Ray did something that even he didn't understand. He acted on his instincts and reached into the back slowly, with his eyes fixed on the raccoon the entire time, and pulled out another bag of chips. The raccoon leaned forward a little to grab the chips. "No, wait." Ray said and the raccoon leaned back.

He opened up the bag of chips and tossed one to the raccoon. It grabbed the chip quickly and devoured it.

"Want another?" Ray asked and pulled another one out of the bag for the raccoon to see.

The raccoon made a sound and opened its mouth.

Ray tossed another chip onto the seat and the raccoon ate it faster than the first time.

Ray smiled. His life just got slightly weirder.

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><p>That's all for now. Please review if you like it. TYK! :)<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Fraser and Dief ran up to Ray's car and stopped and the door. Fraser squinted and looked through the window while Dief paced around the car. He expected to see Ray in a panic and a growling raccoon in the back. Instead, he saw Ray calmly talking to the raccoon as they shared a bag of chips. "Ray?" Fraser asked.

Ray turned his head and saw Fraser at the door. He tossed another chip onto the seat for the raccoon and rolled down the window. "Hey buddy."

"Ray, the raccoon?"

"Oh, he wants another chip." This time he held the chip in his hand and let the raccoon come to him a snatched the chip.

"Ray, be careful." Fraser said.

"I know, buddy. He's harmless, okay? All he wants is food." Ray reached his hand in the bag to pull out another chip but the bag was empty. He looked at the raccoon. "Sorry, Bandit. We're out." He rolled the bag in a ball and tossed it to the back.

"Bandit? Ray, you haven't named the raccoon, have you?"

"Er, yeah."

Bandit curled up into a ball on the passenger seat and fell asleep while Fraser and Ray were talking.

"Shall I remove bandit from the car now?" Fraser asked.

"Why?"

"Because he's a wild animal."

"No he's not! You get a wolf; it's only fair I get a raccoon." Ray hadn't realized what he was saying and got caught up in the moment. "Besides, no wild raccoon would be as smart as Bandit."

"Exactly what do you mean?"

"When I got in here the radio was on. I don't even listen to Donna Summer!"

Fraser looked at the sleeping raccoon and back at Ray. "Are you saying this animal turned on your radio with intentions of listening to Donna Summer?"

"Well, I don't know." Ray sighed. "This is stupid. Maybe you should just let Bandit go so we can get to work." Ray looked at Bandit and gestured for Fraser to come around to the other side of the car.

Fraser walked to the passenger door and opened it. Bandit immediately looked at Fraser and stared into his eyes. Bandit's eyes were dilated and he whined while he gazed at Fraser.

Fraser couldn't help it that Bandit was just so… cute. They stared at each other for at least a minute. Then Fraser finally saw whatever it was Ray could see. "Oh dear." He sighed. "Well, Ray, Perhaps Dief and I should ride in the back?"

Ray laughed at the whole situation and agreed. Fraser and Dief climbed in the back. Dief peered to the front seat and smelled Bandit. He barked with approval and returned to the back. Ray started the engine again and sighed. "Wait, Fraser."

"What is it?"

"What are we gonna do with this raccoon at work today?"

"Well, we probably shouldn't bring it into the station." Fraser said.

"No."

"I suppose it should just stay in the car?"

"No way, I don't know what this guy's gonna do to the upholstery."

"Hm, perhaps he should wait outside?"

"What if he runs away?"

"That's his choice. If Bandit really wants to run away then we should let him. He is a wild animal, Ray."

"Okay, I guess that's fair." Ray agreed and drove the GTO forward to a stop sign where he turned on the radio. Hard rock music filled the car and Bandit made an annoyed sound. He stood up on his hind legs and pawed at the knob on the radio until the station changed to soft rock.

"Hey!" Ray yelled at the raccoon. Then he turned his head to look at Fraser. "See what I mean now?"

"Yes, Ray I do." Fraser smiled and looked at Bandit. "I don't like hard rock music either, Bandit." Now Fraser found himself talking to Bandit too.

Ray tried to change the station back but every thyme he reached for the knob, Bandit would whine loudly until he put his hand back on the steering wheel. Ray would just have to endure the Captain and Tennille all the way to the twenty-seven.


	3. Chapter 3

When they arrived at the station, Ray held the passenger door open for Bandit and shooed him out of the car. Bandit hopped out and paced around for a while. Ray opened his mouth to talk to the raccoon but realized it was just too weird. "Fraser?" He looked up at his partner for help, he was standing on the opposite side of the car.

"He won't listen to me, Ray." Fraser stated.

Ray sighed and kneeled down next to Bandit. "Er, Bandit. We're gonna go inside now…alone. You can stay out here with Dief, okay?" Bandit nodded slightly. "Did you see that, he shook his head at me?"

"I saw it, Ray." Fraser smiled. "It's very possible that may have merely been a twitch caused by a flea biting his neck though."

Ray looked at Fraser and shook his head. He looked back to Bandit but noticed Dief and bandit had already run off to stand sentry at the door of the police station.

"Well, that was easy. Let's go in, buddy!" He patted Fraser on the back.

"Right you are." Fraser took of his hat while they walked in.

Bandit and Dief watched them disappear into the station. Dief shot Bandit a look and barked once to tell him to sit down and wait. Bandit lied down sorrowfully and Dief sat down next to him.

Suddenly, a well-dressed business man walked by holding a suit case between his arms. That wasn't important though. What was important was the fact that this man was holding a donut! It was chocolate and covered in sprinkles. The man was talking on his phone and looking around while he nibbled on the donut. A sprinkle fell off the donut and landed right in front of Diefenbaker while we walked past them. The wolf raised his head and his eyes widened. Bandit also sprang up and surrounded the sprinkle. Dief realized that he should teach Bandit how wonderful donuts are.

The man stopped around the corner and Dief followed the man with Bandit falling behind. The raccoon stopped at the curb and Dief stood in front of the man, looked up at him with his most innocent expression and whined.

"Scram mutt, I got things to do." The man said harshly. Dief ignored the man's blunt reaction and whined again. "I said go on, scat!" Dief stepped back a little and barked for Bandit to join him. The raccoon joined Dief for the protest.

The man ended his phone call and kneeled down next to Bandit and Dief. "You want a piece?" The two animals gazed at the donut. The man smiled a little and pulled off a piece of the donut for them. He then split that piece in two and placed each piece in front of them. Dief and Bandit picked up their prize and walked back to their resting place by the curb to enjoy it.

A long black car pulled up behind the man and one guy stepped out. They began mumbling things that weren't understandable to Dief and Bandit but they listened anyway. Then another man and a young child crawled out of the car.

Dief watched the odd situation carefully as the business man handed the suitcase to the other man. Then the second man reached into his jacket and pulled out a gun. Dief saw the gun and immediately jumped up and started barking to distract him. The business man took advantage of his chance and grabbed the kid's arm. They ran around the corner with Dief and Bandit following them closely behind.

"Come on son, we're almost there." The man spoke to the kid while they ran. "The police station is just around the corner." He pulled his son alongside him.

"Hey, stop!" The gunman caught up with them and shot a bullet at them but missed.

"Dad, does he know the police station is right there?" The son was nearly out of breathe while he spoke.

"I don't know." The father answered.

"There's nowhere to hide!" The other gunman shouted now joining the chase. He was new town apparently because he honestly had no idea that there was a police station ahead of him or else he would have stopped!


	4. Chapter 4

Meanwhile inside the station…

Everything was calm and would be for the few seconds. Fraser and Ray sat at Ray's desk reading a case.

The new beautiful civilian aid walked by Ray's desk and he immediately stared at her.

Fraser cleared his throat. "So if we decide to… Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray."

"Yeah?" Ray looked back at to Fraser.

"Ray, please, we have a case to solve."

"I know, buddy, and we're solvin' it!"

"No, I'm reading this case and you are watching Violet pour a cup of coffee." Fraser announced quietly.

Ray wasn't even looking at his partner anymore; he was looking over his shoulder at Violet sipping her

cup of coffee in the break room. "Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray…"

"Why do ya keep sayin' that?" Ray hissed at his partner.

"I know she's new here and I'm sure you two will get a chance to introduce yourselves later. Right now we have police work to do. Do you understand, Ray?"

"You don't have to talk to me like I'm five, Fraser."

"Alright then." Fraser opened the folder back up and began reading it. "Two charges of armed robbery, one charge of… Ray!" Violet walked by again and smiled at Ray. Ray watched her the entire time she passed him. "Ray? Ray? Ray?"

"Did you see the way she looked at me? She's got the hots for me… I know it."

"Ray, she…"

"Ya know, she kinda smells like violets too."

"Ray…" Fraser was prepared to reprimand his partner again but the door flew open and the business man and his son ran in.

"Help me! Please, someone…anyone!" The two almost collapsed to the floor. Fraser and Ray ran over to them.

"What happened?" Ray knelt down beside them.

"There's this man… chasing me…" The father was out of breathe still. Violet and Frannie joined Fraser and Ray.

"Hey, are you okay?" Frannie asked the boy. He nodded because he was out of breathe still as well.

Frannie glanced to her right and saw Bandit. "A raccoon!" She screamed and jumped up to hide behind Fraser. Bandit was frightened and ran under a desk. Dief ran straight to Fraser and started barking. Everyone in the station jumped up to find the raccoon and to comprehend all the commotion.

The door flew open yet again and the two men with guns charged in. "Nobody move!" One of the men yelled before realizing they were in a police station. Their mouths dropped when they realized where they were.

"Freeze!" Ray immediately drew his gun. He pointed it at the gunman and the gunman pointed his at Ray.

"Where are they?" He asked. "Just tell me where they are and I won't shoot you."

"Who?" Ray asked.

"The guy and his kid."

Ray glanced over to the right for a second and noticed that Violet had pulled the father and son under a desk with her to hide.

"They're not here." Ray answered.

The other gunman leaned over to his friend and whispered in his ear. "Dude, you realize we're in a police station right?"

"I know but it's too late to back off now, just go with it." He whispered back. "Where's your Lieutenant?" He put his attention back to Ray.

"He's out."

"Sir, you're in a police station." Fraser started. "I suggest you lower your weapon and surrender."

"Shut up, Mountie." He said. Fraser obeyed.

Dief and Bandit moved from one desk to the other, slowly to get closer to the gunman. Dief and Bandit exchanged a look and prepared to attack.

"You wanna move or should I?" The gunman asked. He and Ray were still in the same position, aiming their guns at each other. Ray didn't have a chance to answer before Dief tackled the gunman to the ground and Bandit the other. Ray immediately cuffed the gunman and Fraser secured the other while waiting for Ray to round up another pair of cuffs.

Ray pulled himself and the gunman to their feet and faced Bandit. "Good work, boy." He smiled at the raccoon. "Ever seen a raccoon do that?" He asked the gunman.

"Never." He smiled sarcastically.


End file.
